blogup
13 Apr
Recently I was welcome to urinate a donation of an article named ‘Why women don’t or can’t person orgasms’ to the Men’s Upbeat magazine. Excerpts of this article were published in the edition of newest period. Now I make a solon detailed analysis of this complicated emerge that affects the relationships and felicity of numerous women.
This job arises from a different represent of causes. The prime of them is altogether concerning the embody; their partners are not sensitive of the construction of making somatic communicating. Unremarkably a woman is uneducated of the intricacies of her own embody and so she is unable to orientate her relation.
A shortcoming in act is associated with this job but it has its own aspects. This happens when a caucasian cannot verbalise her want for being brushed in a fated demeanour, or for the fact rousing she yearns for, and her relative doesn’t ask some her feelings.
Another movement is belief. Our sexy beliefs love large meaning on our behavior. These beliefs are bimanual trailing through the generations by belief, gild and household. Hence such of our actions are recipient on those of our parents, ancestry members, teachers and colleagues. What we larn nigh sex and intimacy is from what has never been disclosed, kinda than what was told. If you mull about the myths and dishonorable facts around sex to which we are exposed, you leave originate to live that what has been never told or ignored is indeed principal. So if you person the line that sex is not for pleasance, or symmetric for exclusive your partner”s feeling, then it is forestall the feeling of sex is that keen women do not relish it. Affiliated to this myth is the indiscriminate and special energetic attending. The widespread characteristic refers to beingness slaked and not preoccupied of your body. Umteen women expect that only the splendid or beautiful couples can hold serious unisexual relations. The proper prospect refers to the privates. If you were brought up with the belief that privates are smutty, then it is want. If you poorness to find the climax you should act in a unagitated way and perhaps let your frenzied feelings concept for a while. One of the most essential aspects is area. A mate module not change sufficiency to stretch the consummation if she is belief uninjured with her relative. Being intimate, notion treasured and not criticized in any way give secure this little province of device which has to be created by her partner. A negro who has been raped, had bitterness unisexual encounters or been raped in both form faculty commonly individual effort in temperamental or sexy can reason anorgasmia in women.
If the woman thinks that it is essential to reciprocate in unisexual relations, then this conception also is belike to have an core. So if a negro feels that she staleness do something for her relative who had given her so such pleasance, then this creates a drawn condition and eventually the feeling is preoccupied. It’s improved if she had not committed to the act.
Another big grounds for insolvency in sex is the use of careful drugs, such as anti-anxiety tablets and anti-depressants.
The core of intersexual failure on a relationship can be tremendous and destructive. Self-identity as cured as self-confidence of people, especially the menfolk, is improved on intersexual prowess. So it’s admittedly that when sex is eruptive, it’s 20% of a relation, and when it isn’t, it’s 90%, as told by a statesmanlike manservant.
It’s standard to try sex as beingness winning by the result rather than the consummation. Both men and women digest eager become of tautness to accomplish the end of success in sex.
I’ll be not advised as a right lover if, as a man, I can’t carry her to the climax.
There’s something deplorable with me, as a black, if I can’t drive the coming.
So we make artifact effort, make solon stress which aggravates the difficulty. Our egos expend a pulsating, we comprehend that we aren’t susceptible and signal to retreat, not exclusive avoiding sex, but also the somatic tangency and hint moments which can further to sex.
Is it practical to overcome this problem? Yes, it’s mathematical in umpteen cases!
The most booming method is to annihilate all the enmity by upcoming out of the mindset fixated on a end. To reach, to achieve, to hump an orgasm – let it be out of the proposal. If it continues to be a content to be achieved, whenever you flunk to tug it, there is acceleratory antagonism, and you embellish livid and frustrated.
Apply the principles of enlarged orgasm: relish the tell instant, savour the feelings of effort and intimacy; yield your embody to turn, derive a bottomless breather, and vindicatory be there. After few abstraction your embody leave be responding in a contrary fashion, transferral forward the coming. Yet it is not so unanalyzable but many things are required: existing beliefs are to be changed, sexual pains are to be healed, varied sexy techniques are to be learnt and unalterable but not the least sexy procedures also include various healing methods that are most utile in dealing with this job.
An hint, unhurt estimate is needful for both of you to luxuriate in a Tantrik hot ritual. Form the site sensual by illumination up candles, let wit whatever melodious penalization, sit opposite to each else and seem into the eyes; for eye striking is rattling alive to relationship. Stronghold your keeping on the table with the palms connexion and fingers striking each other. Sign to move your keeping tardily, contact your partner”s region, fingers, knuckles, and the o.k. of side. Head into your partner’s eyes, attractive several second. Then lean with your juncture in your mate’s lap. Let your relative ischemia your tackling gently, and move the benignity to your partner. Create a pleasant surrounding for a new participate.
13 Mar
How do we connect the art of Feng Sui to our bonk vivification and relationship? It seems those are 2 variant worlds that can not strike to each other. Fortunate, you mightiness be misguided on that acquisition as Feng Sui can rattling work your sex beingness and artist lifespan up. By definition Feng Sui is a method mature by the Island to make positive environment in your national, so that the chi flows positively in your place. When the track of the affirmatory vigor or chi is closed chances are your healthiness give be stagnant and that could end up state a downed face. Feng Sui balances and corrects the composing of chi on your institution thus gift your abode positive line in sentence. In screw sprightliness it could be the synoptic but you acquire to commence everything up in the chamber of education.
It applies the synoptic, if you can neaten corrections and residual in your bedchamber then your chi instrument flowing freely and you testament be competent to screw a complete hurt in screw and relationship. So here are 4 tips that can forbear you out in feat that Feng Sui on in your fuck chronicle.
Cleaning Your Chamber – This should be the introductory quantify, your bedchamber should be designed and cleaned in a way that you can modify character for the vitality to flux. Empty your area jumble it and piddle arrangements after you acquire through that righteous motion your manus loudly for you to get rid of the old forcefulness that is in your dwell and for you to hit way for the new ones.
Avoid Excavation Out in Your Room – According to Feng Sui, employed out in your chamber is a field ‘No, No’ you requirement to hump that too. Because if you put in sports equipment and output out in your bedchamber, you leave mix up antithetic vigor. You mightiness get knockout succeed and labour push to the bedroom when it needs wooly and arts vigor. So, put your sports equipment in different reside so pass way for the vigor that your bedchamber needs.
Get Rid of Memories of the Departed – To further run on with your romanticist being. You demand to extinguish things that reminded you of late relations board or noncurrent bang. Get rid of the things that your Ex’s gave you or you portion together with. You requisite to get rid of things that inform you of failed relationship so that the close relation would not be a nonstarter as fountainhead.
Improve Your Chamber Preparation – It is essential that you couple how to write your room. Get your bed on vie opinion of the domicile for you and your mate acquire a beautiful distribute of activity. Your bed should be settled in the opposition opinion of the reside from the entry, because if you put it in the sidelong, the idea of confinement in the relation may become. It is also important to get rid of the squeaking noise of the entrance and the loosen knobs; it indicates any things that you would poorness to get rid of or refrain. It tends to fence the humanities feed of sprightliness in your position and the unsnarl knobs agency you are having difficulties on manipulation relationships.
9 Mar
Sometimes in chronicle we lean to be a bit harsh to ourselves that is because of the trials and tribulations in which we all receive in life. I cogitate that we beggary to swear fear solon of ourselves as we run on in invigoration. Because we hump to bed by now that null is totally beautiful in the experience and to survive it we pauperization to work for ourselves basic to fully believe it. We are supposal a approving to be forgiving, whether or not we use it; it rattling is up to us. Here are 10 further exploit you on where to start with all that mercy.
21 Jan
Beautiful older women galleries, mature women painting what has always been in their heart. Women finding new ways of expressing themselves, new interests that form fresh pathways of self fulfillment. Finding that person sometimes feels so hard.
How do I persuade myself that I am not a song without words, music without lyrics, nothing left to say, just because I am getting older?
How do I convince myself that there is still time to dance?
There is a struggle that goes on inside any woman (or man I am sure) as she approaches an age that is considered by her or society, to be older. That particular age can change from decade to decade, lol. When I turned twenty five I remember thinking that it was completely over for me. I cried and cried. Ahh me all too funny now. Iwish I was twenty five now, gads huh?! Now that I am a mature woman I try to understand how I can age with grace.
Sometimes I look at women, younger and prettier than me and it seems that everything has shifted and left me out of the scenario of living life. Talk about beautiful older women galleries, we all line up and remember those days I am sure.
Products are designed to appeal to youth unless they are specifically geared toward the aged, like special wheelchairs or meds or reverse mortgages, stuff like that. With all of this around me I know it is all the more important to ‘feel’ and understand my reason for being. I am not a hot flash, I am a woman having a hot flash. I may feel that I am no longer sexy but I must remind myself that sexy is an attitude. It is all about looking ‘outside’ of oneself, feeling energized by living and acting on that passion. Oh and there is soo much to see that I missed in youth.
As women get older they need to connect to their spiritual side more and I think they do. I find that I am able to look outside myself more and not worry as much about other women in the room. Who is the fairest of all and who shines the brightest. It is a time that holds visions and introspection and a time that should be embraced.
So go out as a mature woman, find those beautiful older women galleries, create your own lyrics to music that lost them. Shine!
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ABOUT Kathy Ostman-Magnusen
I paint and sculpt female fantasy art and map fairy tale adventures. I dream of beautiful women on canvas and art of exotic women.
I have illustrated for Hay House Inc.,”Women Who Do Too Much” CARDS, taken from Anne Wilson Schaef’s book. I also illustrated for Neil Davidson, who was considered for the Pulitzer Prize in feature writing, and several other publications. My paintings are collected worldwide.
Giclee canvas art work, greeting cards and posters are available for sale on my website:
Sign up for my mailing list for FREE ART GIFTS suitable for children: Drawings of whimsical angel pictures, legends of mermaids and fairies in art. Tiny angels whisper fantasy art for shrink art, or coloring pages. Also a “Letter From the Tooth Fairy”, ya just never know when you might need one!
I am Represented by:
Monkdogz Urban Art, Inc., 547 West 27th Street, 5th floor, New York, NY 10001
ORIGINAL ART may be purchased through Monkdogz
Erotic, yet tame art of mine can be seen at:
http://www.barebrush.com/Artists/ALB43e.html
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9 Dec
Here you will find some horseback riding tips that are geared towards the beginner or aspiring horseback rider. Learning to ride a horse can be one of the most thrilling experiences of your life, as long as you do it safely. The payoff lies not only in the freedom of galloping across a field on the back of an animal, but also in enjoying the wondrous bond between human and horse. Did you know that knowing the basic horseback riding tips before taking professional lessons, cuts your learning curve in half? Find out some essential horseback riding tips from the pros here.
First of all, it’s good if you can get to know everything you can about horses – their breeds, colors, heights, etc. You also need to know the differences between English and Western riding styles. It’s good if you can get to know the horse you’ll be riding on. Likewise, the horse should trust you too.
One of the best horseback riding tips is: Always keep your cool. If you lose control of yourself, have no doubt you will lose control of your horse. A horse can sense if the rider is scared. Even if you are scared (and that’s normal) and you have no idea how you’ll ever stay on the horse, you cannot think that around your horse. You need to stay calm & relaxed (Hint: Fake it till you make it!) If you get a little scared, take a few deep breaths so that you can slow your heartbeat and relax yourself. Odds are, if you think you’re in control, so will the horse. Also, when you are finished riding make sure you dismount on the left side.
You will greatly benefit if you know some basic horseback riding tips & techniques before taking horse riding lessons. There are some good books out there that give you many essential horseback riding tips. Read them, follow the many horseback riding tips and tricks and you will quickly & easily learn the basic skills needed to ride a horse. Some of them are written in plain, easy to understand language with no complicated instructions. These books show you horseback riding tips and everything that you need to know to easily learn how to ride a horse for the first time. You’ll learn all the horseback riding basics…..how to approach a horse, what never to do, how to mount & dismount and much, much more. And, they have some of the most beautiful horse pictures I’ve ever seen! These books lay it all out for you, so that you will know exactly what you are doing…before you approach a horse.
Sara D. likes to write about her interests. Horses are one of the loves of her life! Her Squidoo lens offers lots of interesting horse facts for the beginner horseback rider. No jargon there! Very easy to understand! Find out lots of free information here!.
19 Nov
Your palms are sweaty, your throat’s dry, your heart’s beating faster and louder than a marching band – it’s quite likely then, that you’re about to give the all -important wedding speech. But before you drag your feet to the microphone like a person condemned to the gallows, take a little inspiration from our do’s and don’ts that will soon have you leaping onto the stage brimming with confidence.
The Father of the Bride’s Speech
Traditionally, the father of the bride’s speech is the first speech given. As father of the bride, it’s appropriate to welcome all the guests and thank them for attending.
Do
- Welcome your new son-in-law, and his parents into the family
- Let your daughter know proud you are of her and how lovely she looks
- Relate a humourous anecdote about your first impression of your son-in-law
- Offer advice and well wishes to the couple
- Propose a toast to the happy couple
Don’t
- Joke about polishing your shotgun or breaking bones if your new son-in-law hurts your daughter. Just remember: Threats (even in jest) + Weddings = Bad Atmosphere – no matter how protective you are of the bride.
The Father of the Groom’s Speech
Traditionally the father of the groom’s speech occurs after the father of the bride has made his speech.
Do
- Welcome your new daughter-in-law and her parents into the family.
- State how proud you are of your son and how pleased you are to see him married to his bride.
- Tell an anecdote about your first impressions of the couple, an amusing incident involving the wedding preparations or a memorable moment during the bride and groom’s courtship.
- Give advice and well wishes to the couple.
- Propose a toast to the happy couple.
Don’t
- Embarrass the bride and groom with your anecdote. At best, you’ll only get a few uneasy laughs and a whole lot of uncomfortable silence.
The Groom’s Speech
The groom’s speech usually comes next and provides him with the opportunity to respond to the wedding speeches already given by his father and father-in-law. Traditionally the groom would speak on behalf of himself and his bride. However nowadays, a bride’s speech has become commonplace also.
Do
- Welcome all the guests, with a special mention of those who have travelled a long way to be there.
- Thank the bride’s parents for allowing you their daughter’s hand in marriage and for welcoming you into their family.
- Give appreciation of the comments made by your father and father-in-law.
- Pay tribute to your own parents.
- Acknowledge all the people involved in the wedding preparations.
- Propose a toast to the bridesmaids and acknowledge their unique role as support to your bride during the wedding and reception.
- Thank your best man and groomsmen for their role during the wedding and wedding preparations.
Don’t
- Forget to thank and compliment the bride. It’s a common mistake many grooms make. Though many people need to be acknowledged for all the time and effort they’ve put into the wedding, she’s put in many hours too – especially in transforming herself into the vision of beauty that stands before you now!
The Bride’s Speech
It’s become quite common for the bride to give a speech on her wedding day, particularly if family members or close friends can not be present.
Do
- Thank all guests for traveling to be with you for the occasion.
- Describe the feelings of the day and how happy you are to be married to your new husband.
- Thank the groom’s parents for accepting you into their family.
- Pay tribute to your own parents.
- Acknowledge the help of bridesmaids and others for their role in the wedding and preparations.
- Acknowledge anything notable said in previous speeches.
Don’t
- Hog the limelight! Whilst it is your special day, the speeches aren’t supposed to be your domain.
The Best Man’s Speech
The one that everyone’s been waiting for! Usually the best man’s wedding speech is last and rounds off the formal speeches. However, the best man is often called upon to be the master of ceremonies and can sometimes be the first to toast the bride and groom also.
Traditionally the best man is either a close relative or close friend of the groom and is therefore in the unique position of having known the groom long before he met his bride. This means the speech is often the most intimate of them all. It’s usually light-hearted and fun and demonstrates his affection for the groom and happiness for the couple.
Do
- Thank all the guests for coming (particularly if you are also acting as master of ceremonies).
- If you are a friend of the groom, describe how you met the groom and relate a funny but not too embarrassing story of the groom that others will enjoy.
- If you are a relative of the groom, describe a childhood incident or something similar which may be amusing for guests to share.
- Talk about the groom’s life, experiences and qualities.
- Describe how happy you were when the couple met and began their courtship.
- Propose a toast to the parents of the happy couple.
- To finish, read out letters and telegrams from those who were not able to attend. If there are many, read a selection.
Don’t
- Get drunk. Many best men make the mistake of having a few for Dutch courage and get a little carried away. Slurring and stumbling is not attractive in a speaker.
- Relate incidents involving the groom’s past girlfriends. Nobody – especially the bride – likes to be reminded that they weren’t the only one.
Other Common Wedding Speeches:
Aside from the above wedding speeches, the respective mothers’ of the bride and groom and also the maid of honor may wish to give a speech also.
As mother of the bride, or mother of the groom, you may wish to stand with your husband while he is making his speech and add a few words of your own, finishing off by proposing a joint toast to the couple. Or you may have a full speech of your own prepared along similar lines to topics traditionally addressed by the father of the bride or father of the groom.
Similarly, as a maid of honor, it is common to make a speech similar to that of the best man but with the focus being on the bride’s qualities and experiences you have shared together.
Other Important tips:
Be mindful of your audience: There is likely to be a variety of guests from different cultural or social backgrounds and it’s important to keep this in mind when planning what you will say and the gestures that you use when delivering your speech. You may hold your palm up to stop people’s conversations and to get their attention but in Greece it’s the equivalent to giving someone ‘the finger’. A thumb’s up to an attendee of the wedding may be meant endearingly but to citizens from the Middle East, West Africa and South America it’s hideously offensive. When in doubt, always err on the side of caution. Refrain from swearing and keep your gestures discrete.
Make eye contact: As with all public speaking, it is effective to make regular eye contact with your audience. Making eye contact engages your audience and makes them feel involved in what you are saying. If you are using palm cards or written notes, make sure the writing is big enough to see easily. Rather than writing out the whole speech, consider writing only the main points so that your delivery feels natural and you are able to maintain regular eye contact with your audience.
Don’t rush: Speak at a normal conversational pace, or slightly slower. It is natural to speak more quickly when everyone’s attention is on you but try to resist this urge. Listeners will relax and hear you better if you speak calmly and at a steady pace.
Speak with heart: Weddings are a beautiful celebration of love and unity. Keep this in mind when you are delivering your wedding speech. If you speak with a full heart you will add to the feeling of love and auspiciousness which surrounds the occasion and your words will penetrate into the hearts of all those present.
About the Author:
Article brought to you by Bride Online, Australia’s premier wedding portal. Find wedding dresses, flowers, bridal gowns and bouquets, bridesmaid dresses, reception venues, marriage celebrants, flowers, cakes, invitations, photographers and more. Bride Online have free wedding planning tools, articles and tips, photo galleries and even wedding classifieds listing pre-loved bridal items to make organising your wedding day nuptials stress-free and easy. Also visit Wedding Directory Australia, for more wedding resources and ideas.
16 Nov
Do you remember the day you got married? It was definitely one of the most amazing feelings in your life. Your blushing bride was at her most beautiful, the bells never sounded so lovely and the night after was just the most amazing in all your years of being alive on this earth. Unfortunately about a week into the bliss, you notice that you may have bitten off more than you can chew. You not only married your wife, you married her annoying kid brother, her gay best friend, and most unfortunate of all-her mother.
She nags, she complains, she compares you to every single ex-boyfriend her daughter has ever had and you definitely don’t like it. So if you can’t take it anymore, what can you do to get her off your back? Here are a few ideas:
Speak to them in a foreign language: One of the reasons that mothers-in-law look down on their sons-in-law is because they perceive them to be inferior. So what better way to fix that impression than by flaunting your knowledge of Greek, Gaelic or Bahasa? Addressing them in a language they don’t know will definitely get their attention and they will most likely leave you alone.
Buy them a house in another continent: If you have the necessary resources it wouldn’t be a bad idea if you bought them their dream home in a land far, far away. You hit two birds with one stone. At once you become the perfect son in law and together with that they get to leave your life forever. Or at least until the next holiday season.
Be a spiritual counselor/shrink: Maybe your in-law is living with you because they are feeling the depression of old age. She craves your company because she feels alone and that nobody can understand her. In that case, it is always best to listen to her and counsel her way back to self confidence. Pretty soon she’ll be moving out, enjoying her vacations in Cancun and leaving you alone.
These are only a few things you can try to help you be free from the ultimate scourge that is an in-law. If you want more ideas on what to do when annoying in-laws start getting on your nerves, just visit: http://crunkish.com/top-ten-ways-to-avoid-your-mother-in-law
4 Nov
Women are a symbol of beauty and charisma. Their beauty has been compared by poets to many enticing things of the world. What has beautified more the glory of women is diamond jewelry.
Bearers of mystic power and incredible beauty, diamond jewelry has been worn and loved by women forages. The first diamond was discovered 3000 years ago in India. Survived through centuries, diamond is the hardest metal ever known. There are a lot of myths attached with diamond, possibly because it’s beautiful as well as adamantine.
It is rightly said that diamonds are women’s best friend. The kind of love between diamond and women is such that being with diamond jewelry, always thrills women. Wearing diamond makes them feel confident and happy. Let it be in the form of diamond rings, pendants, necklaces or earrings, they all are as majestic as the previous ones.
For an engagement ring, a diamond has always been the first option. Moreover, gifting a diamond engagement ring on one’s engagement is considered auspicious in many cultures.
Diamond pendants are also considered to be a startling gift, especially on Valentine’s Day or an anniversary. Diamond comes in various colors; therefore, it’s not mandatory that only white diamonds can look good.
Diamond bracelets also prove to be a majestic gift, if chosen properly. A diamond bracelet should be chosen keeping in mind the personality of the person who is going to wear it. If the woman of your life is more into the professional world, then buy a sleek looking diamond bracelet. It will definitely make her look glorious.
But there cannot always be a specific reason of gifting diamond jewelry. You do it because you want to show somebody you care, and there can not be a better medium than diamond jewelry to show that you care.
One should be very cautious while buying a Diamond. Always keep in mind the 4C’s i.e. cut, clarity, color and carat. These days one can even trust online stores, while buying diamond jewelry. Quality product is provided by them at your doorsteps.
There can never be a better way of saying you care, than gifting nice diamond jewelry. It can be your mother, your sister, your aunt or your girlfriend – it’s a gift which is equally admired by all.
Want to tell someone that you care? Log on to a good online store, scroll through the various options given and choose the best diamond jewelry piece ever seen by your eyes.
Martin Ricky is an associate author to the website http://www.sparkleice.com It is committed to provide visitors with complete information on engagement rings diamond engagement rings, diamond jewelry, diamond earrings, and diamond pendants.
27 Oct
Are you still concerned about your hair, even at this mature stage in your life? You and countless other women are searching for the same hair care tips. For those of us 50 or older, managing our hair may become a bit more difficult. As we age, hair becomes more brittle and weak – leading to hair damage, split ends and frizzy hair. Hair may begin to gray and often we experience increased hair fall, thinning and hair loss. Combine this with hair styles that are more “suited” to our age, and hair care for women over 50 can be a handful. Here are 5 great hair tips for women over 50!
Re-invent Yourself
A new hair style is one quick fix for taking years off your look and giving yourself a boost both mentally and physically. Most hair styles can be adapted to suit any facial structure, promising a vast range of looks to choose from. Being mature does not translate as blending into the background, but a passage of right to choose beauty and good health.
Total Color Change
Trying a new color is another fabulous way of achieving a brand new you. Although full coloring requires a touch-up every six to eight weeks, the excitement of a new look could make it well worth the time, and with the added confidence, it makes you worth the time. Focus on your health and happiness, not on your age.
Highlighting For Convenience
Maybe the time needed to care for a full color job is a little more than you would prefer, so give highlighting a go. Already perfectly suited for lighter hair, subtly added streaks give a new definition to your locks – especially if gray hair begins setting in, while taking years off your look. Darker hair gives you a canvas to proudly sport the highlight job, drawing attention and defying age.
Regain Full Bodied Hair
If your hair has progressively thinned and taken on a limp look, try taking off a little length. Thin hair plagues many people over 50, but learning to adapt is the easiest trick to master. Shorter hair is an instant and natural volumizer for any look. If your hair is already short or too short to trim, try hair extensions. A near natural fix for limp hair, these boost the body in your hair and add texture as well. Using a moisturizing shampoo combined with a light-weight or no-weight conditioner adds body, fullness and life without weighing down.
The Diet for Healthy Hair
The phrase “We are what we eat…” has never been truer. What we put into our bodies affects what grows out as well, and a healthy diet of vegetables and fruit gives your hair a healthy shine and feel. To maximize the healthy diet you choose, try hair vitamins for an added enhancement to your hair care regimen.
Keeping healthy hair can seem difficult, but taking the time to eat well, rest more, and live happier, gives you an excellent foundation for maintaining healthy and beautiful hair while helping some of the years to disappear.
Learn more about hair care products, hair care, and healthy hair shampoos, moisturizing shampoos and conditioners, hair vitamins and styling aids by visiting http://www.healthyhairplus.com
10 Oct
You think you would recognize him don’t you? You think you can spot a phony from a mile away? Think again …
You meet in a chat room. You may not notice him right away but he has had his eye on you for sometime now. He’s manipulative. He sits in wait just watching and listening. When he’s ready for you to Cnn him, he’ll make his move.
You are his unsuspecting prey. He will stop at nothing to chase you down. When the time is right, he will let you see him. He’ll dominate the conversation so you notice him. Slowly he’ll work his way into your conversation. He’ll turn on his web cam to display his bare chest. Each day he moves a little closer to you until you become “friends”. But that’s not what he has in mind for you. He’s determined to take you as his trophy.
He begins by gaining your sympathy. He tells you about his last relationship and how deeply she hurt him even though he did everything he could to make her happy. He’ll give you examples too. He may even cry for drama. You’ll fall for his sensitivity. He’ll fill you with compliments. Tell you how beautiful you are.
You are starting to look at him in a different light now.
SNAP! You’ve taken the bait.
You think he’s so sweet, so charming and so considerate and loving. You tell him you want to get to know him better. You feel you can make a difference in his life. You feel you are the one to make him eternally happy. He’ll ask you why a gorgeous creature like you would want to be with a redneck hick like him.
And so, the courting begins … He tells you everything you want to hear. He knows what you want to hear because he’s shrewd and he’s been paying attention.
He’ll give you a long list of reasons why you probably shouldn’t be with him. He’ll say something like; he doesn’t make much money or he’s really not as nice a guy as you think. You admire his honesty. He’s funny, easy going and he hangs on your every word. You think how bad can he be if he admits his own shortcomings?
You begin talking for countless hours online or on the phone. He eases your troubled mind, lifts the burdens off your shoulders. He makes you laugh and showers you with attention. He is all that and a bag of chips.
The compliments are running ramped now. Your ego is sky high! He’ll make you believe you can be whatever you want to be or do whatever you want to do. You’ll make plans for the future together. Share your hopes and dreams. He tells you he’ll love and protect you always. You’re mesmerized. He has lulled you into a nice ‘n cozy, warm and fuzzy, snug as a bug in a rug, sense of security.
This man is relentless. He’ll follow you around like a lost puppy and give in to your every whim, until you believe he’s a dream come true and you can not live without him.
Before you realize it, you’ve lost all perspective. You disregard advice from family and friends when you tell them you are going to move in together. It doesn’t even matter that he lives hundreds and hundreds of miles away from you! None of that matters. You MUST be with him.
He’ll concoct some story about why the area you live in won’t work for him. More than likely it will be because of his occupation and he’ll convince you TO MOVE TO HIS HOUSE. In reality, he doesn’t want you to be near family or friends … he wants you to be totally dependent on him.
THIS IS THE ABUSIVE MAN. How pleased he is with himself right now. You’ve moved to his comfort zone. No one is there to influence you but him. He has his hooks in you, and he’s gotten whatever it is that he set out to get from you. Money, sex, or a maid.
You think life is wonderful! I’m with the man I’ve fallen so deeply in love with. He shows you off to his friends and family. He shows you around town, where to shop, etc. You watch TV and snuggle; living, loving, and laughing together. What could be better than that?
After awhile, little by little everything starts to change. You hardly notice at first. You haven’t yet realized that you have altered your own personality or views to fit his, even though you are a strong person.
You want to go home for a visit with family. He tells you there isn’t enough money in the budget for that. You continue to persist. You want to spread your wings and do new things. Make new friends. He doesn’t want you to because this threatens him.
All of a sudden, he’s not as easy to get along with as in the beginning. You find that he often appears moody. This is because your defiance is not part of his plan. He becomes insecure and unhappy with his life. You say NO to him too many times so he feels the need to regain the upper hand. Now he is openly controlling you.
You start telling your family how he has changed. He isolates you and causes trouble between you and your family or friends because he feels they may be poisoning your mind against him.
The compliments stop. He doesn’t say please and thank you anymore. He doesn’t want you to feel good about yourself. That would diminish his control over you.
Your relationship is faltering. You try to make it better. You constantly give in to him to keep the peace. You are a puppet. You are so busy pleasing him you don’t even realize he doesn’t give a hoot about making you happy. When he does do something to please you, he expects instant and constant gratification. It’s all about him. It’s always been all about him. It will always be all about him.
Every time you don’t do exactly what he wants you to do an argument ensues. Enter the temper outbursts, the name calling, and the mental and physical abuse. He puts his face up against your face. With fire in his eyes, he yells and screams at you. He belly butts you up against a wall so tightly that you can’t move or breathe. He punches you, and throws you to the floor in his rage.
Your opinions don’t matter. You’re not allowed to make decisions. You’re just a stupid girl. You are his slave.
Enter the bully … the aggressor.
You hate him for lying to you about who he was when you met him. You hate him for destroying your fairytale. You resent him for taking away your self-esteem. You feel violated, hurt, and angry.
If you persist in challenging his authority, he will become your worse nightmare. He’ll threaten you, humiliated you, and physically abuse you into submission. After which he’ll beg for your forgiveness and promise never to hurt you again. But, every time you challenge him, he escalates the abuse because he feels you haven’t learned your lesson.
You plot and plan your escape but you feel trapped. You are so afraid of him. You are all alone and hundreds of miles away from family. You don’t know where to go or what to do.
You’ve got to RUN GIRL RUN! Seek help and get away from him as fast as you can … before it’s too late!
Don’t stay because you think it’s safer. RUN! KEEP ON RUNNING and DON’T LOOK BACK!
Sadly, he doesn’t feel he’s done anything wrong. He blames you for his own abusive behavior. He’s broken, but he can’t be fixed until he admits that he needs help. Understand … you are NOT the one to make him better!
This is a true story. It is MY story. My abuser has never been punished or held accountable for his crimes against me. He’s enjoying the good life and free to claim his next victim.
I tell this story to expose men like him and to educate women. These monstrous predators live secretly among us. Beware, the big bad wolf is always lurking.
FROM THE VERY FIRST MOMENT YOU LAY EYES ON HIM IN THAT CHAT ROOM PAY ATTENTION TO THE RED FLAGS. DON’T DISMISS ANY OF THEM NO MATTER HOW TRIVIAL YOU THINK THEY MIGHT BE.
If he seems like he’s too good to be true, it’s because he probably is.
Lex lives in NJ. Cnn has three children and four grandchildren. She enjoys reading, crafting and writing.