He that hath time and looks for better time, time comes that he repents himself of time.
George Bertrand

For the first time in I don’t know how many years, I actually slept in on Saturday morning… if you call 8 o’clock sleeping in. As Judy and I just lay there talking, enjoying the sun shining in through the window, it hit us that “today, we can do whatever it is that we want to do.” The kids were all out of the house and we didn’t have to be anywhere until supper time, so we just relaxed and chatted about the “old days” when it was just the two of us, without responsibilities, without children, without stress and without complications. Days when we lived in Montreal, when we would get up early, drive downtown and have strawberry crepes for brunch, when our only thoughts were on gaining the total enjoyment of that moment in that place in time where we shared our eternities. Those days were all about being with the one you loved and sharing the present moment, while talking about the “what if’s” and the “wouldn’t it be nice”. To me, those moments that would slowly fill our days, and which would run into weeks and empty into months was all we had. Of course we had our jobs, with our own responsibilities, but in retrospect, it all seemed so much simpler then.

So on Saturday, deciding to relive an old memory, we decided to walk to a restaurant for brunch… just because we could!

As we were sat there in the restaurant picking away at our food and continuing our “remember when” conversation, I was watching the young server and I said, “I’d love to be that age again; so young, so full of life and so full of possibilities.” To which Judy said, “You know, those days were nice, but would you really give up the memories and the possessions that you have now to go back to then?” Without even having to think about it I replied, “There’s no way that I would ever want to miss the experiences of having children and of watching them grow, or of buying our first house, or growing the relationships that we enjoy with family and friends. That time in between then and now has been so important to me, but I often wonder what I would do differently if I had that time back.”

Later Saturday evening, as I was mentally putting my day’s activities to rest, a random thought strayed brazenly into my consciousness: The time in between your past memories and your future dreams is all you have to work with. You can choose to either create new memories or achieve new dreams, or tear down old memories and cancel new dreams. The choice, however simple it may sound, is yours.

While I believe it is nice to go back in time and remember how it used to be, the danger that many people find themselves in is that they sometimes decide to stay there. Staying there, in the past, may be easy and sometimes enjoyable, but to remain there insulates us from the possibilities of our present current reality. Staying there can also create more stress than we realize, because we start to compare what we were then to what we are now, and we start to lust for something that has passed, and lose sight of where we are; and to do that is just not fair to the decisions that we have made along the way or to ourselves or the people who are in our lives now that we are comparing our past to. We can not move into anything new, if we keep our feet planted in the past. It’s like trying to get into a boat to go out on the water, while keeping one foot chained to the dock and the other one chained to the boat; sooner or later something MUST give and we’re going to have to make a difficult decision; Either we stay on the dock where it is safe and dry and not moving and just pretend that we’ve got everything in order, or get in the boat that is moving out to the middle of the lake that is unknown, but is calling you. We will feel so much more alive moving into the unknown than we ever could by taking the safe, familiar path that leads from our past. No matter what we may think, no matter how firmly planted we are in our past, we cannot escape the fact that the future is going to happen. So, we can make a future filled with regrets by comparing it to our past, or we can make one filled with success that is fresh every day. The only thing that we actually DO have is the time that is in between those two states. What are you doing with yours?

This week, savour those moments of your life where you once tasted success, enjoy the fresh aroma of your achievements, but don’t linger too long at that table, lest the achievements that you tasted yesterday spoil and drive you from the recipe of your present life. Dare to be here, today, in the space between, and when you do, you will be much more prepared to learn from your past, willing to experience your present and remain open to what will be.

Make this your best week ever!

Paul

For 22 years, Paul Kearley has thrived in the personal development and coaching business. As a Master Coach for the past 10 years, Paul’s passion is in developing and creating increased potential with both clients and other trainers. A columnist for two newspapers in Eastern Canada, and editor for his own weekly ezine, Paul writes articles that address the everyday challenges we all have and face in life and in business, and offers suggestions for success.

If you’d like to connect with Paul to discuss your personal or business strategies or to subscribe to “E-Motion” his weekly newsletter , simply send an e-mail to carnegie@nbnet.nb.ca, visit http://www.mustthinking.com or call 506 433 4722.